First know the decision to close Game-Flush did not come from me. Teach and The Farr recently made it clear that they no longer wish to be a part of Game-Flush.com. This came as a shock when we’ve been talking about what more we can do with the site and especially because we just registered Flush Entertainment LLC in February of this year (to give us more street cred, as it were). What’s more, just last month we came extremely close to getting 10,000 clicks to the site and are on pace to tie that number again this month.

I’ve wracked my brain for ideas for how to keep the site going. I’ve even tried to convince Teach to stay on (since we were the ones, for a time, keeping the site alive after Koz and Kosh left in 2010). Unfortunately, none of it has worked. The decision is, ultimately, their own, and to be fair to them, of all the founding members, I was the only one trying to make a career as a writer and illustrator.

That said, I can’t run the site by myself. As it is, fiction writing and illustration is my main profession and part of the appeal of getting involved with Game-Flush in the first place was that there were other people involved, and I wouldn’t be doing it alone. It was also the fun we were having and the specific people who were involved which made Game-Flush so special. So, for me, without them, it just wouldn’t be the same.

For myself, I had big plans for Game-Flush.com since the beginning, and honestly took this little side project very seriously, hoping, over time, to build it into a fun place for gamers to get some alternative, entertaining and often funny perspectives on video games and the industry itself. And, all around, the staff had a lot of great ideas of where to take the site and some new content we could begin to introduce.

What’s more, this year I was finally going to finish the “Who Killed Koz and Kosh?” storyline in the comic (the idea was inspired by their departure at the end of 2010.) Unfortunately, I do have to admit, doing one comic a month was not enough to keep things moving at a good pace with a detailed, on-going storyline, but it was supposed to introduce the Game-Flush rivals.

I’d planned (humourous) villains for the comic very early on and was trying to figure out how to introduce them. This story arch seemed the best way to do it. So, on that note, I do apologise to everyone who was looking forward to seeing what happened next. (As for this month, the comic was going to feature a humourous two or three panel comic of Belford bragging about how he got his job back, thinking Kid-D was crying in a corner somewhere only to find out he was “re-hired” as well–all inspire, obviously, by the recent announcement of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow – Mirror of Fate.)

I do believe in Game-Flush (I always have–I think it’s a tremendous idea), and as such I don’t quite want to let it go. It holds a special place in my heart, and there was still so much further to go with it (with content, with the site’s design and even user features). Over all, I’m very sad and disappointed to see it go.

That said, I have considered creating a tribute section (of sorts) on my website for those who enjoyed Game-Flush.com where the characters, antics and some select content can still live on (you will find it at www.jmdesantis.com/game-flush.com.html, though not much is there now and I’m unsure when I’ll be able to start building it). And of course, I have to keep the F’VII Remake Final Fantasy VI petition going for all of you who have, thus far, signed it. Unfortunately, I just don’t know what else to do or what else to offer you all. Well there is one thing: my sincerest apologies for this sudden turn of events.

It has been a pleasure to work on this site. I’ve always wanted to be involved in the video game industry in some way and to have a platform for writing articles and opinion pieces, and Game-Flush gave me a little bit of both. What’s more, it was fun to actually have the chance to write a little more freely and in a style completely different from the one I typically use when writing stories and comics. I have a wicked sense of humour, after all, and Game-Flush was a great outlet. For that, I will always be grateful.

I want to thank Teach (despite his part in the decision to close Game-Flush) for his tireless efforts in keeping Game-Flush going all this time. You wouldn’t know it, but he’s worked harder than many, if not all of us. My thanks to The Farr for being one of the funniest ranters I’ve known, and making his comeback last year after a few months off. My thanks to The Orange Tasty-Mint (Testament), Frendo and Zook the Terrible for coming aboard and helping us fill content when our own schedules didn’t allow for us to post as much as we would have liked (and so we didn’t have to cut down content again like we did after Koz and Kosh left).

Also, thanks to Alexander O. Smith (who I am a huge fan of and somewhat of an e-acquaintance with) for being so gracious as to accept doing the interview with us almost two years ago, and my apologies to his Kajiya Productions partner, Joseph Reeder, for the interview we never got to do.

Most of all however, I want to thank all of you who are reading this (even if this is your first time to the site) and our Flushers for coming back again and again. Hopefully at least a few of you will continue following my other writing and illustrating projects (although none of them are anything like Game-Flush.com).

If ever there is a time in the future that Game-Flush.com can be given a 1-Up, I will be the first to sign on. Unfortunately, for now and maybe forever, this is goodbye. It’s been a blast. I hope you’ve had fun too.

Flush On!

Sincerely,
J. M. DeSantis – The Corporate Ninja

Writer, Illustrator and founder of Corporate Ninjutsu
Official Website: jmdesantis.com

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If you have played the Legend of Zelda, you know that the first thing you do is go to get your sword.  However what would happenif you skipped that step…..

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Side quests have been a staple in most games for quite a while now.  They are fun and you usually get something good out of them.  But have you ever wondered what happens while you are off doing those quests…..

http://youtu.be/bbUqEPUZ-ds

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Well, Flushers, after last Friday’s article (by yours truly) about how little release dates seem to mean these days, we bring you yet another installment of the Game-Flush.com Early Swirly. I’d love to claim most of these games actually made their original release dates, but that’s probably asking too much. That said, I’m sure you want to know what’s good (or at least is looking interesting in a that’s-so-bad-it’s-funny sort of way) this week in video game releases, and I’ve got your fix. So pull up a toilet, take a squat and let’s get down to business.

Lollipop Chainsaw – PS3, Xbox 360

If the name doesn’t sell you alone, I don’t know what will. Watching a chainsaw-toting cheerleader slice up zombies to the Chordettes’s cover of “Lollipop” is perhaps one of the most random things I’ve ever seen…and I love it! It would honestly be a shame if an idea this good, albeit extremely bizarre, did not succeed. But I suppose it wouldn’t be the first time…

Lollipop Chainsaw is an Action game, developed by Grasshopper Manufacture and published by Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment, scheduled to be released in 2012.

Gravity Rush – PS Vita

I have to say, watching the trailer, the visuals for this one look good, and from what I can see, the game is using the Vita’s technology well, even in small and unexpected ways. More titles like this might actually get me to buy the system finally. Though, honestly, with the recently announcement of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow – Mirror of Fate at E3 last week (including our very own Belford and Kid-D going back to work again), a Nintendo 3DS is first on my list!

Manipulate gravity to save your world from destruction. Gain a new perspective as you take on the role of Kat, a strong-willed girl seeking the means to protect her future in a world that’s crumbling to pieces. Tilt and move the PlayStation Vita, taking gravity into your own hands to deliver devastating attacks, uncover the secrets to your past and explore a mysterious world.

Gungir – PSP

I think what appealed to me most about this game when I read up on it was that the developer is Sting! Now given, I’m not a huge fan of his music, and I’m not certain how I feel about Dune (the movie, that is–I’ve never read the book), but, I have to give the man…wait…what? It’s not that Sting? Oh! Well who gives a @*$! about this game then?!

In a land ravaged by disparity where the impoverished must battle for survival, the fate of all is thrust into uncertainty when rebels happen upon custody of a young female noble and a magical spear of immeasurable power falls from the heavens. Now, hunted by incumbent powers desperate to reclaim the girl and armed with a weapon capable of reshaping the realm, the Resistance must wage war to deliver themselves from the tyranny of their oppressors.

As original as its narrative, Gungnir’s strategy RPG mechanics offer a number of fresh twists on an expertly honed formula. Building upon the traditional action queue of turn-based strategy RPGs, actions in Gungnir all have a numerical wait interval associated with them. Faster actions bear smaller numbers, allowing them to precede slower preexisting attacks. Should the player wish, they may sacrifice tactical points, which afford them more combat options, in order to accelerate actions. This classic balance of risk and reward, a staple of Sting titles, enriches the Gungnir’s deep strategic battles and gives the player far more critical decisions to weigh.

Jumping Electron – Android

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxQNVVZhybg

Could. Not. Help. It. With a name like Jumping Electron, I figured this game would absolutely have to be the biggest snore-fest of 2012. I mean, other than Bill Nye and Stephen Hawking, who would actually be interested in a game where an electron is the protagonist? I mean, really? A jumping electron?! But I have to admit, based on the trailer, if the game does what the video seems to imply, I really think this game has the potential to be frustratingly addicting.

Jumping Electron is a Miscellaneous game, developed and published by Finmouse, scheduled to be released in 2012.

Also Out This Week: Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion, Magicka: The Other Side of the Coin, DiRT Showdown, Runes of Magic Chapter V: Fires of Shadowforge, Metal Gear Solid HD Collection (VITA), Krater, Pikmin 2, Phantom Breaker, BABEL Rising 3D, PulzAR, and Aika Online – Epic III: Descent

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Weather men are more accurate with their predictions than these release dates are. I mean, c’mon people. Is there some reason why you can’t just commit to the dates you’re telling us? Certainly you cannot be serious when you claim it’s to “make the game better” before its release?! The aforementioned Duke Nukem Forever is just one example of why that excuse doesn’t hold water, and need I remind anyone about Daikatana?

Never mind, every game you buy nowadays is chock full of bugs, glitches and a number of other incomplete or otherwise underdeveloped bits that companies need to patch the game within a week of its release. Honestly, with all these “make-games-better-delays” I really don’t see how you have an excuse to make me download a patch for a game that was originally supposed to be out in Winter 2006!

Sure, some of the games which are delayed turn out good or even great. Blizzard is famous for their release dates not meaning squat. Hell, it’s practically a punch line in itself, but they do put out a good product. Even Final Fantasy XII (for some of us) was well worth the wait, despite Yasumi Matsuno dropping out before the project was complete, and after years of delay-hell. (Final Fantasy Versus XIII is well on its way to being another offender, I might add–well that is, if they ever give the damn thing a release date.)

But, seriously, gentlemen (and ladies), the problem has gotten out of control. It’s not fair to the consumer that you’re giving us these dates and then saying, “You know, on second thought…” That’s like telling a child they can have an ice-cream when they get out of school, taking them for the ice-cream and then slapping it out of their hand before they can take a bite and saying, “Maybe next month, kiddo!” Are you crazy, you sick, child-abusing publishers?!

Now, given, I’ve asked for an extension on my own deadlines before. I’m sure most of us have. But if I had ever missed as many deadlines as the video game industry has missed release dates (Hell, just take one publisher) I’d be out of a job. There’s no way I could get away with it, and, honestly, there’s no reason you should either.

So you know what? I’m going to do what no one else is willing to do. I’m going to fire all of the video game developers and publishers, right here, right now. “What?” That’s right. You heard me. You’re Fired, [insert company name here]! The Donald style. You’ve missed your deadlines one too many times. Clean up your stuff and get out. We need more reliable employees in this office.

“Whoa! Whooooooaaaaaa! Wait a minute. Just wait a minute, Ninja,” you say, “have you lost your mind? Who’s going to make video games now that you’ve fired everyone?” Well, as always, I have to explain my brilliance to you slow thinkers. Game-Flush will make your games! Yes, that’s right. Game-Flush will now be the sole, reliable publisher of all video games.

“What’s the first one?” you ask. Oh. Well, we’ll title it Super Fantasy Kombat X (That’s X not Ten) – Western Warfare: The Quest for Some Popular, Soon-to-Announce-His-Retirement, Professional Sports Athlete. Sounds like gold, doesn’t it? When will it be out? Fourth quarter 2016. Of course, that’s always subject to change, as is the title, because we all know publishers can’t stick to those either.

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Well I’ve been blabbing about it for months, may as well spill my guts on this game. The long long wait was worth it, while it appears many were left disappointed with the return of Diablo after so many years. How does it stack up against the previous titles in the series? Well read on and I’ll tell you.

I notice a lot of complaints stem from the game differing in a lot of way from Diablo II. Honestly, that is what I feel is one of its greatest strengths. We didn’t wait all this time to play Diablo II all over again. While it definitely plays and feels like Diablo II in many ways, it has distinct differences that I feel were for the better. While distinguishing itself from Diablo II, it still plays very closely to the source material.  Dire hard fans should feel right at home in terms of control and screen set up. People were expecting a carbon copy of Diablo II, and if that’s what you want, just go back and play Diablo II.

Another complaint I read about was graphics. The game looks dated and stale. While I can understand this argument, I am glad it retained an older look and feel. While a big improvement from the 2000 era graphics of its predecessor, it certainly could have had better graphics by today’s standards. However, part of the nostalgic feel of Diablo was the graphics not being first rate, but quaint in their own way. Again, this wasn’t meant to look like a new age graphical masterpiece, but a hack and slash adventure through the world of Sanctuary.

Building your character has changed greatly, much to the disappointment of many fans. No more will you need to have 5 different variations of a character. Each character will learn all their skills upon hitting the level 60 max, thus giving you a complete character. The “build” comes in by customizing and mix and matching skills differently. To me, this is a nice change, because you can still have a character that has focus on certain skills, and then giving the flexibility to change up the skills when you feel the need. Many don’t like this, but I feel it makes life easier and saves hours of needless gaming.

Finally, story. Here is where I was a little disappointed. While the game did have a lot of back story and developed upon the previous installments, the ending was a bit lacking for my taste. For the long wait I was expecting something more grand. However, maybe one day Diablo IV will rise up and continue the saga, if we live long enough to see it that is.

Overall, a solid game. Did it live up to the hype? Maybe not quite… yet that is. There are still many features we haven’t even seen yet, such as PvP mode which was scrapped to get the game out faster, but will arrive someday soon. And, as with Diablo II, we can be sure to expect many patches to enhance and add to the game. Don’t be too surprised if an expansion or two comes out sometime in the future, adding more classes and quests. This could merely be the beginning for Diablo III.

Game Play: 5/5
Story: 3/5
Visuals: 4/5
Sound: 4/5
Replay Value: 3/5

Overall: 19/25 – A Slight Odor (Good)

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First off, I would like to start by saying I have never actually seen a full episode of Jersey Shore.  From the bits and pieces I have seen, the show makes me want to move out of New Jersey just so I do not have to share a state with these morons.  Even though they are all not even from New Jersey I feel like I can get melanoma from their crappy tans from just being in the same state as them.  The little bit I did watch on Beavis and Butthead made me want to rip my eyes out to throw at them.  That being said, here is a video making fun of these clowns…

http://youtu.be/SyTSOCnr2Rw

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At the top of the list a classic fighting franchise adds another chapter in their long history, plus some other stuff. Let’s roll.

Virtual Fighter 5: Final Showdown- PS3, X-Box 360

“This new installment in the critically-acclaimed Virtua Fighter series packs a serious punch fueled by the power of the Xbox 360 video game and entertainment system. Virtua Fighter 5 will have an all-star cast of 17 fighters, including characters from the previous iterations along with two new characters named El Blaze and Eileen.”

Inversion- PS3, X-Box 360, PC

Inversion is a third-person co-op shooter that combines hard-hitting, adrenaline-pumping action with a revolutionary gravity manipulation engine. Featuring the Grappler weapon, players will be able to manipulate gravity for their own purposes.”

Bang Bang Racing- PS3, X-Box 360, PC

“Bang Bang Racing is an arcade-style racing game focused not only on the speed but also on the technical driving skills. The intuitive control system and the exciting tracks provide endless fun for everyone in the family.”

Rayman Origins- Nintendo 3DS

“When the Glade of Dreams is overrun by nefurrious Darktoons, the Fairy Council hastily invokes Rayman to save the day. To help him, Rayman teams up with his best friend, Globox, and two crafty wizards, the Teensies. Together, the world’s most hilarious team of heroes will need to restore peace to the Glade or watch as their beloved home vanishes like a bad dream…”

Deadly Association- PC, MAC

“ In Deadly Association, people plays inspectors Chloe Cunningham, using their investigation skills on a mysterious financial case. But, behind every big success is a terrible secret.”

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It’s no secret that I have a great love for the Xbox 360 and all of its fascinating downloadable games. With games like Castle Crashers, Bionic Commando: Rearmed, Shank, and Shadow Complex, the downloadable market can sometimes overshadow the mainstream retail games in a big way; and usually with less than half the retail price. But, every now and then, I wish there was more.. I love these new games to death, but I look at old-school games like X-Men: the Arcade game, Double Dragon, and Altered Beast, which are also downloadable games on the Xbox 360, and I wish we had more of that.

And so, we look at my wishlist of games that should be downloadable: 

I have to start with the game that’s always on my mind, when thinking of “childhood games that I wish I could download” — Target Earth. Here is a game that truly stands out as an instant classic. From the more-than-addicting soundtrack to the extreme difficulty that would rival even Teach’s expectations, this game was incredible. To be honest, whenever I go into the “My Games” section on the Xbox 360 dashboard, I hear the music from the title screen of this game playing in my head, because that’s how big of an impact Target Earth made on me. I’ve often wondered how it’s decided when a game gets the “downloadable port” treatment, and I really wish I could talk to somebody about bringing this one to the consoles again; especially since this game was for the Sega Genesis, and the Xbox 360 has a habit of porting over Genesis classics. Do I contact the original creators of the game? The publisher? Microsoft? I won’t rest until I find out.

Speaking of Genesis classics, I’m very glad that, as of today, we now have all three Streets of Rage games, and all three Golden Axe games available for download; it’s been a long time coming. Most people would say “Why not just get the Mega Drive Collection? You get all those games, plus tons more for real cheap!”.. Blah, blah, blah. Honestly, I’m starting to prefer downloadable games to discs. It’s not a big deal, but I like having all of my games available without having to change discs, and also the possibility of the game freezing is a real issue with me. But, on a more minor note, if I get them all as downloadable games, then that means they will each have their own set of achievements. Yes, I’m an achievement whore, deal with it.

Besides the greatness of Target Earth, there’s something else I want as a downloadable game on my 360: every single game I’ve ever played on the Super Nintendo!! I hate the fact that Nintendo seems to have the rights to all or most of those games, it’s ridiculous. Yeah, I understand they own every Super Mario game, that’s fine (although I wouldn’t mind having Super Mario RPG), but what about games like X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse, or Maximum Carnage? There’s so many games that retro fans would love to download, but alas, something is keeping us from getting what we want and deserve.

I think it’s also obvious that if we did have these games available to download, I would want them to be direct ports. Granted, some games work as remakes, like Bionic Commando: Rearmed, but with the games I’ve mentioned, there’s no need for any changes. I wouldn’t have a problem if, when you download the game, it came with the original version and a remastered version; kind of like Super Street Fighter II Turbo: HD Remix, but that’s as far as I would go.

So, if you agree with me or not, leave some comments below and we’ll have a chat. Maybe we’ll get noticed and things will change for the better.

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http://youtu.be/ARzHpMx3l28

Man I wish my boss would do this.

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