Too Human – Review

Genre: Action – Adventure
Developer: Silicon Knights
Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios
System: Xbox 360
Release Year: 2008

It was a little over a year ago when I was curious to play this game Too Human.  I had read about it online and a lot of people trashed it.  But nonetheless, I did not listen to their warnings.  I was merely curious as to why a game with a lot of hype built around it, and so much time in development, that it could be that bad of a game.

I mean, most crap-fests are gaming companies trying to make a quick buck off a franchise or popular character/person (almost all Simpsons games, Shaq-Fu, Barbie games, etc. for example).  So, to hear that this game was as bad as it sounded when it was in development since 1999 astounded me.  I mean really, if there was a game being worked upon for almost 10 years then it’s got to be at least semi-decent, right?

Wrong.   The game is awful.  There was just so much potential to the game and it failed miserably.  The concept sounds awesome.  Using Norse mythology sounds amazing.  I thought it was going to be more like a Nordic, futuristic take on God of War.  Instead, I got the most repetitive game I’ve ever played.  Every single level is almost exactly the same.

This looks cool… but looks can be deceiving.

Basically, the main character runs around shooting the same enemies, and doing the same moves through the whole game!  Sure, I admit, the first level was fun.  I figured the game would become much more challenging, and the guns and moves would become so much better.  Nope, every level was so much like the other.  You could randomly place each level in order, and it wouldn’t matter.

Possibly the worst part of the game is when you die.  Every time you die, there is at least a 5 minute cut scene of a Valkyrie taking your dead body to Valhalla (sort of like Heaven in Norse mythology).  I wouldn’t mind it so much if you barely died in the game. In this game you will die a lot.  No matter what level you are, you will die.  The game developers made it so the enemies will level up along with you (similar to Final Fantasy Tactics) you could be on the first stage after you beat it, and it will still be just as hard.

Get ready to see this Harlot for half the game.

I probably saw that stupid Valkyrie over 100 times in a game that took less than 20 hours.  So let’s see: if every time you die you waste 5 minutes, and you die 100 times, you will waste 8 hours of the game seeing yourself die.  So almost half of the game is just watching you fail.  Thanks.  Liken this to hearing a merchant give you a massive monologue every time you want to purchase a measly potion or two, bullets, or something of that nature.  Very annoying in a small period of time.

If you’re looking for a God of War type game, this isn’t it.  This game couldn’t handle anything remotely close to Kratos.  Stay away from this monster.  Unless the person reading this is Kratos, whom can bury this game before anyone else has a chance to waste money on it.

Story: 1/5
Graphics: 3/5
Game Play: 1/5
Sound: 2/5
Replay Value: 1/5

Total Score: 8/25 – Clogger (Bad–Stay away from this title)

Too Human and its properties are a ™ trademark and/or © copyright of Silicon Knights, Microsoft, and related parties.

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